I was in my kitchen this morning, juggling tea bags and cat litter, when it hit me.
"You are loved. Just not enough - by yourself. You spend far too long thinking how to make everyone else safe, inspired and happy while never give yourself that same attention."
Then it hit me: I show others how to treat me, by the way I treat myself.
At this point I had to put the cat litter and tea bags to one side and pay attention to these thoughts.
I am aware that I accept certain things while longing for something else. Like wearing a yellow cardigan, when you would rather wear your lavender shawl.
I have recently been dealing with an issue that has literally paralyzed me with fear. Thus I have been distant with people I love and have silenced my own thoughts and conversation about the subject. I have created a tiny, yet suffocating island all of my own with clouds of old stories and issues, and I did that all by myself, thank you very much.
So, the connection I made, was to bring love to myself to help alleviate this current fear.
We all hear about how fear stops us. How we have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Well, its all true. However, it has been living in me for the last month, becoming so noisy that even Tylenol PM screamed "OK we give up, she's never gonna' sleep!"
So, I'm bringing love to myself, just quietly. Finding my peace, my center. Not solving the world, or constantly putting myself up for election. Do you do that too? Put yourself into a campaign to gain peoples votes? It's exhausting and actually, with the right people, not necessary.
Calm it all down. You're not actually on a roller-coaster. I desire a sense of home, and I believe I already have that, deep in my heart, just needed to remind myself.
Always with love, my friends.