Showing posts from July 6, 2014

Amazing Journey

I thought I would better at this. Not over it in anyway, just better. More eloquent. Clear. Funny. Powerful. When you hold the hand that you love while its heart has stopped beating, and your love continues to flow, you feel you know everything.

Yet here I am, alone and wondering how on earth I got through today. This murky, cold day in my soul that tempted me to jump, disappear, sink. My head on the pillow rarely wants to lift and today the only reason I did was to cry even more.

I have to do this. I have no choice. Recently, through bereavement counseling, I have wanted to open my eyes to a new life. Fear jumped up and covered me today. The lack of trust replaced with doubt, that has always been my weakness, played and laughed at me. It's such hard work.

I have seen the beauty and pure peace of a beach recently. I have had the honor of seeing my words performed recently. I have had my hand held recently and drunk champagne to share mutual achievements. I want that and so much mo…