Showing posts from May 11, 2014

Ego versus Heart

I seem to blog less and less these days. My ego always screams that I must write something that matters.

Tomorrow the 12th would have been my 12th wedding anniversary. I've spent today wondering how I should/would/could pay respect to that. Nice words. Brave words. Write a poem. Post photos. Say I love you. All of that is true as well as the fact that this hurts like hell.

I spend the days surviving, not living and that's the truth. I got through today and I will get through tomorrow and blah blah blah.
I mattered for awhile, or at least I thought I did, and that was switched off as simply as someone just put their rubbish out.
I will tell you, with my blue honest eyes, that love is all that matters.
And now, with only the smallest percent of that in my life, I will shout it out more.

I never imagined that I would need to beg to spend time with someone. That I would stoop so low as to accept crap, just to avoid loneliness, disrespect and loss. That short word is so burdened an…