My friend Jen, was part of that genius and I wanted to celebrate her by returning to an astrology blog. So, I decided I would do it tonight and I begun by checking out my horoscope.
First let me set the scene - it is Saturday evening following a tearful week, I'm alone, sitting on my balcony,
Earlier I had shaved my legs, flossed my teeth (hate it!!) and deep conditioned my hair in something called Henna Placenta. Really? How on earth can henna have a placenta? Despite sounding biological, my hair looks quite nice. I can imagine my George Clooney look alike, smelling my hair and whispering "ahh placenta." I did all of that with the one percent hope of getting invited somewhere, and also the fifty percent plan that I was going to take myself out and when I do that, I try to look pleasant thus avoiding the patronizing look from strangers of "well yes she should be alone appearing like that."
I am hovering in that dreadful, delicate, cobweb of a place where my heart break needs to heal because, quite honestly, bridges are becoming more and more attractive these days. My decent soul cannot and should not hold onto this amount of pain and the bitterness that has built up. It's like plaque on teeth, it's just not good for you. I can see myself as that lunatic person standing on their tiny soap box screaming during a blizzard: "I deserve better than any of you gave." It's all pointless, because nobody cares, least of all those in the guilty
AND the truth is, I love to smile. I really do. Despite my joy of not using the phone (rare occasion allowed tonight TWICE with my dear friend who actually recognizes my voice) I really do enjoy company. I have tried this year to be sociable, even intimate, and my poor ego is battering some hefty rejection. I have a joke, that guys drop me off at the highway, trying to get away quickly. Their four wheel drives become two, as they suddenly skid off to go do whatever it is they suddenly need do. One man tells me that he thinks about me every day, even though our last date was actually a year ago, one wanted to spank me, despite what his much younger wife thought, one was probably gay and another man has gone away for about two months on a dream vacation. I can't even say, he's gone to prison, which would at least be a decent excuse. This one has actually chosen to go away!
Anyway.......with all this in mind, I check my horoscope to write my thoughtful, intelligent blog and here is what my stars say:
Your love life needs a boost — and you've got just the right kind of energy to make it happen! Things are moving along at the right pace, but you can change the mood for the better with a single word.
Is that the word?