Saturday, August 3, 2013

Fat Burning Hack

My Tweeter account just got hacked and sent out a tweet from me, sharing information on my fat burning secrets.
I laughed for about an hour (well half a second, in fact it was a scoff, not a laugh) because........

1) Just call me Gwyneth Paltrow!
2) Me on a diet is like the Pope bringing back "I loved the Breasts in Brazil" t Shirt.
3) Yesterday I was given a Taiwan Cucumber to eat. I promise you, it was a cucumber, not some type of vegetarian happy ending accident.
4) Me sending a tweet, because I have not done that for at least a year, and now I wonder if
hacking me, wasn't just Tweeter, to get me to sign back on again and consider Tweeting again.
5) Fat burning - ha! The only fat burning I do is to light a candle.
6) I take laxatives, so that I have something to do the next day, not to lose weight.
7) My real secret to losing weight this summer, is all the mosquito bites that I am collecting. At one point, the bites were looking like a dot to dot puzzle, and I swear I could see the face of an itchy Jesus on my arm.
8) My stomach fat is migrating to my thighs and knees.
9)I have nothing else to say and a job I have to get to!!!!
10) I still believe one day that I will have those flawless, golden legs with the bulge of muscle that says "I work out". I will Tweet you, if I do. In the meantime, if I do, you know I have been Gene Hack-maned again!

1 comment:

  1. Love your blog, Jayne :)Oh and this is Kelly Daniell.. I just haven't changed my email from my maiden name...

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