Showing posts from December 23, 2012

Angry Widow Birds

I once told you something that widows are not meant to express, well here is another one for you, as warning Universe Jayne has hit the mildly angry stage.

I am absolutely sick of being able to sort everything out by myself!

Now of course it is fantastic that I can sort everything out, however, I am sick of it!
I would love, just for once, that there be a man who will help me carry a bag or a box.
A man who will help me work something out OR work it out for me and just tell me the answer.
Bing Bing Bing- there's an idea! Just tell me the bloody answer.

It was so handy that I was born with a heart large enough to include that of a robot. A robot that needs no fuel, no batteries, petrol or water.
Sometimes I want to wear heels and say I broke a nail. Actually NOT to break a nail.
Sometimes I want someone to buy me theater tickets and collect me in a bleedin car.
Sometimes I want someone to say, it will be OK Jayne.

Yesterday, I had to take Mum to the walk in clinic as my own pneumo…

Christmas Morning

My brother and I would be up by four am when we were children on Christmas morning.
We would creep down the stairs to the Christmas Tree to find a mountain of wrapped gifts, that had never been there before. Excitement would then burst noisily forth as we declared the house to be up, awake and celebrating as we screamed; "He's been, he's been!"

I have always loved Christmas. Still do. The magic of the possibility of there being a Santa, has never left my heart.

This year it has been different for me and yet easy not to celebrate with the same passion as I have before. I didn't buy a tree. I didn't try to bake gingerbread, make homemade cards or find a perfect gift. I just allowed it all to slide over and around me. Some of the pine needles hurt and some of the cinnamon fragrance is delightful.

I admit, tonight I stayed up beyond midnight. I thought perhaps it was allowed that a widow had a secret kiss, one last conversation of love or the feeling of warmth f…