Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Stonehenge


I went to the beach to find you today
It was empty and beautiful
Windy and the sea was sighing
As eagerly as the grasses waltz.

I asked for signs and a miracle.
I received both in an unexpected way.
Deadlines, for sale signs,
The distance of lawyer words.
Does anyone hear my heart breaking
Would anyone believe it to be mine?

I built my own Stonehenge                                                 
Because I am incredibly strong.
Yet
I am expecting too much
Being too open
Talking too much
Trying too hard
Perhaps reaching too far.


In trying to find you, will I ever find me?
Perhaps I will just settle with
Empty and beautiful.


Monday, October 15, 2012

Tama Kieves - thank you

Most of you know that I have just had the privilege to be part of a program at Kripalu entitled Unleash Your Calling facilitated by Tama Kieves.
What is there to say about this experience without including the words amazing and life enhancing?
Well nothing actually, it was amazing and life enhancing.

Kripalu itself is a wonderful institute in The Berkshires, USA. It is predominately a yoga institute. Even for this meat eating, chocolate with artificial flavors, swearing Londoner - I understand the tranquility and sheer magic of the place. I may be one of few who puff as they walk up the incline from the parking lot to the door, I am however also blessed to be touched by the peacefulness.  http://www.kripalu.org/
What happens at Kripalu - does not stay there!

Tama Kieves is an exciting personality to be with. She is honest, strong, vulnerable, inspired and inspiring. She is a facilitator who remains by your side, gently guiding and opening inner door ways with intelligence and humor. Tama wants to be (and already is) the difference. She leads as an example, so that we all can be the difference. http://www.tamakieves.com/
Non-subliminal advertising - read her books, go to her programs!

I liken my own lesson from the program as a ride through a Cupcake Factory where I cannot taste anything then finally arrive at the Gift Shop to discover I own it and may have anything at anytime.
Please now sing "Heroes" by David Bowie while eating birthday cake, sitting on a warm beach next to everyone I love - that is how I feel.

I went with a focus on my writing and found what I really needed - my permission to stop and to heal. Despite looking lazy, I am actually a doer. My mind and heart rarely take a break. Here, I realized I could stop. I needed to rest. My car will ask for petrol, yet I do not award myself a pit-stop. Look at that, I even call it an award! It is not - it is necessary for all of us!

Through sadness I faced the fact that I acknowledge my inner critic on the hour and every hour. Conversations regarding a positive inner voice left me admitting that I had turned mine off years and years ago.
Now back home I am switching my volumes. I am resting, I am breathing. My shoulders have dropped and my jaws are not super glued to one another. I am looking for safety, where I will walk, think, talk, dream and dive into the wonder of space.
I am the opposite of the incredible free fall of Felix Baumgartner, from the edge of space to New Mexico. I even have that outfit, it's just invisible and called self love.

Always a promoter of self care, love and time, I have rarely practiced this upon myself. Like many of you, I sell tickets to a fair that I've not visited. I am certain that in doing this, my desire to write will grow and flourish. Even the skill and the opportunities, I trust.

It is illuminating to begin something. As busy human beings, we only keep this for work, diets, relationship with others and whenever we celebrate our New Years. It is exciting to discover that a beginning may begin whenever and as often as you need and desire.

Once upon a time it was a Monday in October and Jayne's eyes opened wide, awakening to the gentle adventure that waited.