Thursday, July 26, 2012

At Peace David


 And so, my dearest husband died this Friday July 20th.  I will have hours and hours filled with words to share. For now I wanted to publish the eulogy that his loving sister wrote & read.



THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE. YOUR GATHERING IS A BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE TO DAVID.

DAVID IS MY OLDER BROTHER.  I LOOKED UP TO AND ADMIRED HIM FOR BEING SO UNIQUE – FOR BEING HIS OWN PERSON.

I ALWAYS WANTED A BOYFRIEND LIKE DAVID - SENSITIVE, HANDSOME, ROMANTIC, CARING AND FUNNY. 
AS HIS LITTLE SISTER,  I WOULD TRY TO HANG AROUND DAVID AND HIS FRIENDS, THOUGH HE DIDN’T EXACTLY RETURN MY WORSHIP.  HE DID NOT WANT HIS YOUNGER SISTER HANGING AROUND…ESPECIALLY WITH HIS MALE FRIENDS – WHO WERE PRETTY GOOD LOOKING.

GROWING UP WITH DAVID WAS NOT ALL PEACHES AND CREAM.  DAVID WAS A JOKER, AND I WAS HIS PUNCH LINE.  AS A KID HE OFTEN TRIED TO SURPRISE AND SHOCK ME.  EVEN AT AN EARLY AGE HE HAD A FLARE FOR DRAMA:  DAVID WOULD DON HIS CAPE AND CHASE ME AROUND THE HOUSE.  HE MIGHT WAIT FOR ME IN A DARK ROOM OR JUMP DOWN THE STAIRS AND GRAB ME. I ALSO FOUND MYSELF LOCKED IN CLOSETS… TO THIS DAY I’M CLAUSTROPHOBIC.

THANKFULLY, DAVID OUTGREW ME AS HIS LABORATORY FOR DRAMA. DAVID TURNED HIS TALENTS TO ACTING AND MUSIC.  HE WAS VERY TALENTED—HE WROTE POETRY,  PERFORMED ON STAGE, HAD A BEAUTIFUL VOICE, AND WAS PASSIONATE ABOUT MOVIES.

DAVID EVEN HAD A STAGE NAME PICKED OUT– DAVID TRAD – TRAD WAS THE FIRST FOUR LETTERS OF DARTMOUTH – SPELLED BACKWARDS. WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER, DAVID DREAMED OF BEING AN ACTOR AND A SINGER.
ONE DAY HE MET THE ACTOR ELLIOT GOULD WHO SET DAVID STRAIGHT – ELLIOT SIGNED AN AUTOGRAPH TO DAVID…. THE AUTOGRAPH SAID – DAVID, BE A RABBI. AND THAT WAS THAT, HE DID NEITHER!

DAVID HAD A FABULOUS EYE FOR FASHION AND BECAME A BUYER OF WOMEN’S APPAREL FOR THE FAMILY STORE SILVERSTEINS; HE WAS ALWAYS DRESSED TO A TEE, EVEN TO THE END.

BUT DAVID’S GREATEST PASSION WAS HIS FAMILY AND HIS 2 KIDS. DAVID’S HIGHEST CALLING AND MOST PROFOUND ACHIEVEMENT IS THE WAY HE PARENTED HIS CHILDREN  - BEN AND EMILY.  EVEN DAVID’S NURSE SAID THAT IN SEVENTEEN YEARS SHE HAD NEVER SEEN TWO KIDS AND A WIFE AS LOVING;   THIS SAYS AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT THE KIND OF FATHER DAVID WAS. DAVID’S CHILDREN ARE HIS LEGACY.

DAVID HAD A ZEST FOR LIFE -  HIS TALENTS, HIS COMPASSION, HIS EMPATHY AND HIS LOVE. HE ENJOYED 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE WITH JAYNE, AND I’D LIKE TO THANK HER FOR BEING RIGHT BY HIS SIDE.

DAVID ALSO HAD A PASSION FOR CHILDREN.  HE WOULD ALWAYS GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR TO PLAY WITH HIS NIECES AND NEPHEWS WHO HE LOVED- WILL, JULIA, ELIZABETH, ZAC, ALEX AND ADIN.  THIS IS ONE OF THE MEMORIES OF DAVID THEY WILL ALWAYS HAVE.  HIS LOVING SPIRIT EXTENDED TO HIS WIDE CIRCLE OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO ARE HERE TODAY FOR HIM.

SO WHO WAS MY BROTHER? 

HE WAS A SIMPLE MAN -  EVEN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS WAS SIMPLEMAN—HE WAS COMPASSIONATE, EMPATHIC, AND A IDEALIST.  A  HUSBAND, A FATHER, SON, BROTHER, FRIEND, AND LEADER. HE WAS ALWAYS YOUNG AT HEART. 

HE IS IN MY HEART. 

HE IS IN ALL OF OUR HEARTS.

I’D LIKE TO CLOSE WITH A POEM BY MARY ELIZABETH FRYE THAT I WASN’T SURE I COULD GET THROUGH, AND NOW I THINK I CAN
Do not Stand at My Grave and Weep
By Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
 I am the swift uplifting rush 
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

DAVID I WILL MISS YOU.