Showing posts from February 19, 2012


I was wondering (and kind of hoping to be honest) that this is the moment in my life when I stay up all night and write the breakthrough script that gets attention and begins the career I have been dreaming of.
I suppose for that I should make coffee, wear glasses and look at the laptop screen yawning, yet begin typing in a determined rhythm. Its that movie moment when the lead actress gets serious, puts her hair up and the audience notice how great she looks without make up. You are witnessing the serious, committed side and you know it's the turning point. Intro tinkly music and dim lighting - even though she's busy writing and should take advantage of overhead lighting.Well I cant sleep, yet two hours, one twitter and a session cuddling the cat have not produced the screenplay.When I first started this blog I used to write about my daily horoscope. It was always amusing to Jen, that my stars were quite the opposite of my reality. So for writing inspiration I just looked up m…

Fat Tuesday Celebrations

Its Fat Tuesday!
For those not in New Orleans - here is how to celebrate:

Wear all your jewellry
Sing everything like Louis Armstrong
Place your Spanx on a stick and wave it high
Spray alcohol on everything you eat
Order what you really want from one McDonalds instead of visiting two
Eat three boxes of chocolates while watching The Biggest Loser
Wear all the swimming floats you can find and shout "I love water retention!"
Tell skinny people in a patronizing voice "ahhhh, you have such a nice face though."
Tell skinny people in a questioning voice "ohhhhh, you're expecting a baby!"
Tell skinny people in a quietly advising insulting voice "you should try walking!"

Education Law Suit Hits UK

Dear School -

I am letting you know that I am going to sue you.
Here is why.
You saw me, and others, in agony learning equations, things to do with antipodes, how many wives King Henry had and that collinear points lie in a straight line. You made me wear a short skirt to play hockey. Let me just repeat that - you made me wear a short skirt to play hockey. I told you then and nothing has changed: "These legs don't run and these legs don't do short!" I believe a detention greeted that confident attitude.

You made me cut open a frog, you made me read Thomas Hardy and you told us that calculators could not be relied upon.

This morning I try and try to clean melted plastic from the oven. I have no heating because the oil ran out. I have a lack of medication for my husband because the doctor gave the wrong instructions. YES, as I ponder all of these issues, you are right; I am thrilled that I know Anne Boleyn was Henry's second wive, and that she was executed.
Now unl…