I am learning to let go of my dreams, wishes, needs. I am sending them out and asking for guidance on how they may be cherished by me.
This is the opposite way of how I usually work, which is to be continually pushing, reaching and aiming. In the letting go of that busy-ness, it has given me the soul space to embrace new light around me. Some of that space became heavy and dark, especially so against the brightness of Christmas. For a few days and nights my loss completely drenched me and I never wanted to get up again.
Yet I did and I continue to do so. The reward - to be gifted with simple joys and breathtaking signs, that take me back to the power of standing in that beautiful quiet of the Arizona desert.
Last night during dinner with a friend, I noticed a couple at the next table. Yes they were obviously happy, connected, enjoying time. Here was the act that grabbed me. He leaned over and gently placed his hands on her face. It was incredibly tender. It took my breath away, as I imagine it did hers. It was a gift.
How many moments are shared like this? Is there a magic in old romance that appears like a spirit showing us another way to be and to feel? Kindness and tenderness - wow, how often do we slow our pace to become those two things? Not to only think about them or give them - to actually become them.
When taking the hand of another or sharing a hug, saying I see You and You matter to me.
To walk on wet cobbled stones where you stumble because you are, just for a moment, flying.
To see and hear strangers laugh with abandon at a gifted actor whom you are fortunate to know and sit quietly with to discuss the heart and soul of things.
To have someone say you are amazing and to actually hear it.
To be within the love and respect of friends who show you all they are, while making coffee and serving muffins.
When I am free, that is when I touch the possibilities and dreams that I am asking guidance for.
I know I am being Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler rushing from room to room in a long white dress with long white hair flowing behind me. I however, do not have the school boy with the odd bright eyes at the end - and for that I am blessed!
This is truly me.
With Love, Ease and Grace.