It's wonderful to be writing plays again, in the manner that I do it. Which I'm not sharing, otherwise medication will appear on the doorstep.
I am moving into my editing phase on a fourth draft, which is like knowing you are going to have a root canal and yet looking forward to it because of the drugs.
Editing is all about trust.
Which is my bridge to the point of this blog; my latest discovery that I need a personal in real life editor.
I've never been one for stumbling over what I want to say. My words are generally carefully thought out. I consider the other persons ears. I think before I speak. Unless anger is involved then it's out with the cockney wrestler that spits the bitterness, loudly.
Previously I was so busy with work and life that I rarely had the time to not get things wrong. My eyes were focused to my desk with my feelings beating from a drawer.
So, it's a shock to me that I am now saying; "what on earth did I say that for?" Or worse, "what on earth did I text/email that for?" This is where I add the ??????? and the !!!!!!!!!!
Don't you dislike that agony? It seems a good idea at the time, until you hit send, and a chewing teenage gremlin appears screeching; "you did not just do that!"
In addition, my emotions are gerbils in a wheel, at the water, at the sawdust, at the wheel again, look at me, don't even find me! Wheel, sleeping, water, climbing a wall, climbing the wheel, needing water, sleeping, sawdust, water. You get the point. Busy feelings create a muddied mind.
Now I find myself saying; "what on earth did you feel that for!" Or "what on earth are you feeling now and where did that come from?" It's like you try something new to eat, and then wonder if you really do have food poisoning or if you are convincing yourself that you do.
I publicly declare, that I'm driving myself mad in thinking too much. I must find my personal in real life editor. If only I can trust that they like me! As I said it's all about trust.