These are just facts that I want to share to highlight A Day in the Life of a Question Mark.
- For anyone who saw an odd couple in Big Job Lots (terrible name) on Saturday that was us. I am the Walter Matthau character. We had agony over buying a blue plant pot for the garden. It will break. Its the wrong color. What's it for? It's too heavy. At one point I looked at rope and said out loud "Wonder if that would hold me?" I was joking - honest Rachel, I was!
- Anxiety over me making dinner while "You've Got Mail" was on the TV.
- Tears and nearly a panic attack over the TV mini series of Titanic. When was it going to start? Why would we watch it? What if we missed it? When it did start, he talked solidly throughout it. Apart from when the over loud commercials came on, which made him cry because he thought he had broken the TV. We gave up watching, though I think I guessed the end. It sinks right?
- Today we were up at 6am to get dressed for the day in a suit, when we are doing nothing.
- Panic now because I went to the bathroom and couldn't be found for a minute, despite me leaving the door open and shouting as to where I was! It is fortunate for the neighbors that I suffer with constipation.
I wrote to my friend today and said nothing much is going on and yet with Alzheimer's there is ALWAYS something going on. There are no easy choices, no quiet days. I must find a deeper solution than practical to this, as I feel its eating us both alive. There are smiles to be shared, I know there are. I just have to understand where I can find them within all that fear and the popping, hungry, demanding, debilitating question marks.