Just two days into my April of not focusing on Alzheimer's, I found myself miserable and feeling at a loss.
It is the total opposite of what I wanted and imagined I would feel and discover.
Then BING plus a big Oprah AHA. It hit me.
True confession time - I actually use my husbands illness as an excuse not to do anything.
Shame blushes through me. It's not that I was intending to do that. I quickly add here; for those who do not know me, that I work full time from home while being a care partner, so it's not that I sit on the couch eating chocolate. Insert funny picture of me yesterday doing just that!
Notice how I defend myself quickly.
I know some people who I call opera singers, because it's all about "me me me me meeeee!"
Could I also be an opera buff?
My good intentions are toward David, work, family and friends. The weak tired personalty puts on the opera voice and appears daily in "Madame Moodyfly" or "The Marriage of Victimo".
There is no time for me to be inspired to write because I am a care partner.
There I typed it. Said it out loud. Nearly deleting it, I am shocked to be using that excuse. Telling myself that story and believing it.
Have a think - are you starring in your own opera of no purpose?