Dear School -
I am letting you know that I am going to sue you.
Here is why.
You saw me, and others, in agony learning equations, things to do with antipodes, how many wives King Henry had and that collinear points lie in a straight line. You made me wear a short skirt to play hockey. Let me just repeat that - you made me wear a short skirt to play hockey. I told you then and nothing has changed: "These legs don't run and these legs don't do short!" I believe a detention greeted that confident attitude.
You made me cut open a frog, you made me read Thomas Hardy and you told us that calculators could not be relied upon.
This morning I try and try to clean melted plastic from the oven. I have no heating because the oil ran out. I have a lack of medication for my husband because the doctor gave the wrong instructions. YES, as I ponder all of these issues, you are right; I am thrilled that I know Anne Boleyn was Henry's second wive, and that she was executed.
Now unless she had her head chopped off because of melted plastic, no heating and poor medication, I wonder what use she is, for me today.
I can tell the pharmacist that an isthmus has water on two sides. I cannot tell him why the doctor forgot how many milligrams our pills should be! Even if I wore a short skirt and whispered the word puck - I am not going to get the pills we need from him.
So, unless Pythagoras has a Theorem on how to really clean a kitchen floor - I don't care to hear it.
I only know that E equals M C squared because there was a song about it and permutation is a fancy name for a To Do list.
My lawyers will be in touch for misrepresentation on what I will need to know as an adult.
Jayne ( typed NOT in joined up typing!)
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