Friday, July 22, 2011

My Positive Friday Morning 10am to 10:15am

This is a great morning and here is how I look at it:

My main duty today is to print & organize clues for a large program I have on Tuesday.
We are talking about 1,000 various print outs, folded, stuck and organized into divisions.
Approximately 5 hours work.
So my positive spin is: it is great, just great, when your printer jams on the very first page!

My lovely, lovely husband has a different ailment each day. We have had blindness in one eye, lack of a throat, lumps in the stomach and now we have a pain in the foot. All deserve love, and for David he wants immediate medical attention.
So my positive spin is: I'm glad it's only Alzheimer's and not the real problems happening.

I am truly pleased that I just received an email saying that a long lost relative in Xigwangcoxlin has inherited $10,0000 and just needs my bank information. Followed by a phone call declaring that I have just won a Caribbean cruise.

Honestly - this just happened in the last 15  minutes. It's going to be a good day.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The theory of the young and older

In my younger, slimmer, perkier days I had a theory; the first time you gave a new man a blow job, your mascara would never smudge. One would look as gorgeous as the receiver was picturing. The second time, same man, ones mascara would double and the receiver would be faced with Gene Simmons in another type of Kiss mode. One would never know this until you caught a reflection of yourself or the man had screamed and fainted, which you mistook as blissful joy.
Which is why, gentleman, you only really get one good blow job from the same woman - because she is thinking of her mascara!

Now that I am in my older, heavier, lower days and a blow job means the vacuum cleaner is not working , I have a new theory.
When one is getting ready in the morning and quickly winds up their longish hair and simply mounts it to the back of the head with a plastic claw grip, they will look in the mirror and say; "Wow that doesn't look bad, I will leave it like that. Hair spray will keep that baby in place."

Then two hours later when they arrive at their destination, which is a public place, the mirror will laugh as one  realizes they look like they have a mans toupee stuck to one side of their head and a tail of an old fox sticking up on the other. Yes indeed the hair spray has hardened and nothing can move. Delightful.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Scott Winters

What can be said about today?
I am at a loss to put words to so many feelings.
I am no newcomer to funerals, memorials and not someone who has not lost a friend before, and yet,
I can not move my Rolodex from your name.
Perhaps my high respect for you has no where to go. After all, you brought me two degrees from Kevin Bacon! Then I realize it doesn't have to go.
As it was said earlier with two perfect eulogies, your children are magnificent shadows, they now move into their own sunshine. We have so much to look forward to in that regard. Sandy too, there are achievements yet to come that will inspire us.
Driving away down the road, through Providence and all I want is to send a confirmation and ask if you can pick up another bag as "they added another team!"
Life is odd, I guess we all know that. If there is a lesson, it is the one you gave to all of us and that is:
"That everything is great."