Thursday, September 8, 2011

Rachel Zoe,Toddlers and Tiaras

My switch off and zone out TV indulgence tonight was The Rachel Zoe Project followed by two episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras.

There is something about Rachel Zoe that I really like and I think I want to be her. Or should I say to be like her.
Here's the thing - everything she says includes a despairing sense of doom and gloom. One cannot tell whether it's a positive doom/gloom thing or truly a disastrous one. You would usually study someones expression to gather a clue as to which, however Zoe only has two expressions.
Those are; one: with sun glasses and two: without sunglasses. It is tough to decipher.
Example one: "Oh my goodness it makes me so, soooo mad...........it's sooooooooo good."
Example two: "Oh my goodness it makes me so, like sooooooooooo mad........I just don't know."
She would be an incredible spy because you really cannot tell what she means. Plus, no matter how busy her schedule is, there is always a scene of Zoe and her gay possibility husband in white bathrobes calling one another babe.

My recommendation for Zoe would be to watch "Toddlers in Tierahs That Their Mothers Wish They Had Really Won For Themselves".

Those characters are all over the town with their expressions, winks, falsies and the classic pout, kiss and wave. Of course that's what attractive people do all day. Pout, wink, kiss and wave. Where on the sprayed sun tan planet did anyone think those over extended actions look good? It's like watching the seven dwarves, pumped up on Red Bull doing sign language for idiots.
Whats worse, the camera swings into the audience and you experience all the Mums/Dads (toothless, tight t-shirt, big earring types) all doing the ridiculous moves. AND, what's worse than that, is, I catch myself mimicking the moves and some of them I can't even do. How do they manage that irritating head bobbing thing? I challenge any of you to watch without trying it for yourself.

I also HAVE TO share that tonight featured a three year old girl, struggling, while a giant ferret hair enhancement was pinned to her head. Then the kid bashed her forehead on the door causing a big bruise, despite the reinforcement of the wig! On top of that the mother was not pleased with a fifth place trophy they received. "I don't even want that," she spat. I so longed for the kid to scream "Oh grow up!"
This poor kid had been pinned, tackled, whacked and it was her mother who was sulking! OH and did I mention she was also scared witless when she came face to face with someone in a costume of the big bad wolf? What an episode for us and what a ton of future therapy from just one day in this three year old's glittery life.
AND don't get me started with the kid who danced as Julia Roberts in "Pretty have to be a Prostitute Woman" style - including fake leather boots and yellow wig. I was stunned to head bobbing silence.

When I was three, I tap danced as a sun beam to Zip-Dee-Doh-Dah and I was not referring to Zip-Dee-Doh-Dah my fake leather boots!

And as they say, that's show business kid!


 

1 comment:

  1. I can't get myself to watch these programs, it interferes with my knitting time! (The stunned-into-stillness reaction they induce is not condusive to getting my crafts done! haha!)Although, The idea of wandering around in fluffy bathrobes is pretty attractive!

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