Ten Reasons why you should suspect your partner is cheating on you with food:
1) they find reasons why they are the only one to clean the kitchen at nighttime and yet the kitchen is never clean
2) the Chinese Take Away is speed dial #1 on their cell phone
3) you find chocolate smudges on their clothing
4) they have started to wear elasticated waists
5) they say they hardly eat anything and yet they're not skinny
6) the only time they take out trash is when they are throwing out bags from their home office
7) sometimes the car just smells of McDonalds
8) the chocolate cake in the fridge gets smaller bit by bit
9) the Dunkin Donuts staff pass coffee without asking what the order is
10) their email is full of bonus points from Panera bread and other shady venues where people slip a five dollar bill into a tasty pastry
You know I'm right!
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