Sunday, August 28, 2011

Matthew McConaughey - The Inarticulate Lawyer

Proving that you can't have it all, I move my attention to Matthew McConaughey.

He is a good looking man and I can see why movie directors include at least one scene that features Matthew without a shirt on. I now add a mumbled, however. Mumbled, because, quite simply I can only understand one in four sentences that he utters. I guess he has a fear of the dentist and has bad teeth, as he never opens his mouth, unless it is to suck on some actresses body who simply asked him "what did you say?"

I just watched "The Lincoln Lawyer" and for the first hour thought I was on a foreign station lacking subtitles.
The story is so confusing that I ponder, was he cast because of his lack of diction?
What is he saying? What is the story? What on earth were they thinking when the mother shows up with her tight suit and matching hair bun? For a moment, I thought she was going to say; "and I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you dastardly kids."
I swear the movie has four alternative endings and the director decided to show them all just to make up the time.

As you know, I am one of the few who knew Bruce Willis was already dead in "The Sixth Sense." Yet, if you ask me how the drug woman was cleaning the floor in the male wing of a prison - I could not explain.

Another thought - why was Marisa Tomei smiling throughout the whole movie? Perhaps because she got to make out with Matthew rather than Mickey Rourke or John C Reilly.

I was wondering how Matthew could be this poor of an actor when I loved him so much in "Limitless", of course to later discover that Bradley Cooper was in that movie and not incoherent Matt.
So I guess the joke is on me, as this must be another sign of getting old before your years, when handsome people begin to look the same!  Oi you Matthew - get off my screen!

1 comment:

  1. Ooh, ooh!
    Let's write a book with 4 alternate endings and put them all in there! (Hmm... this would necessitate having written ANY endings first... Bah. Foiled again...)


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