In the movie, Gaslight, Ingrid Bergman is driven slowly mad by her cruel husband, who tries to convince her that she is doing things when she is not. The only thing that remains in place is the bun in her hair.
I wonder if I am in the modern version? Where a group of people decide to destruct me, comically, bit by bit.
This week I have been feeling as though I want to pull my skin off. Literally, tear my own skin from my bones with the utter frustration, fear and sadness that follows me around.
For a time, I thought magical living was possible. That we controlled our own lives through our thinking and the thoughts we sent into the universe. Boy was I wrong. That was pure luck and the only year I was obviously allowed to have it.
Now whenever I call out for support, I know to expect the very thing that arrives will slam me down.
I just got told I did not have a conversation, when I know very well that I did have the conversation only an hour ago. And my dear readers (ha readers!!) that's not even from the beloved person with Alzheimer's!
Here's a tip: When you are faced with a person who looks great like Ingrid Bergman - then by all means have a go. When however, you are faced with someone who is dangling from a cliff looking like they have not slept in 48 hours, because they have not slept in 48 hours, how about smiling at them and offering a hand?
OK folks, I give in - you have me beaten! Can we rest now?
And now for Jen because she likes them - here is a list of things I have been in my previous lives:
3) Failed Boxer
6) Door knocker
7) Tennis Ball
8) Fly Swatter
9) Car Brake Pedal on a driving instructor car
10) Donkey Pinata