Ten reasons why: I know I cannot live in a really hot climate
1) me wearing sunglasses resembles a little kid with her first pair of glasses. no matter which pair I buy, they just look stupid. Audrey Hepburn, Jackie O and Doris the Explorer
2) shorts! what is wrong with people! why do men get long & baggy, while women either get sexy, tight or the elasticated waist get Grandpa excited look
3) thong bleedin sandals hurt me. I don't want my toes being segregated
4) once we hit the eighties my thighs stick together
5) once we hit the nineties my thighs down to my knees stick together. I currently look like a walrus
6) drying my hair with a hairdryer is pure torture in hot weather
7) when I stop moving, I am like a car whose water from the air conditioner trickles, in that a pool of sweat trails behind me (yep really attractive).
8) I am so full of water my stomach slooshes
9) tan lines on my double chin (yep really attractive)
10) sitting on the beach I constantly smell bacon and get nervous that I'm frying myself
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