Sunday, March 27, 2011

Flying

I love flying. My second choice of career was to be a flight attendant, until I discovered I had a lack of height. Those were the days when attendants were called Air Hostess and they wore tied scarves at their necks, tight skirts and red lipstick. I used to play "Flying". I would set up chairs in my bedroom to resemble an airplane, a big teddy was the pilot, I served peanuts from a tray and once translated an entire welcome into French.

Six things I love about flying:
1) Airport shops and the need for another postcard, bracelet, keyring, pencil, book, t shirt and mints.
2) I am not the only one eating snacks.
3) Reading peoples laptops.
4) The outrageous Sky-mall Magazine which sells things like The Pet Doorbell Set, Therafirm Core-Spun Mild Support Socks and Military Zoom Binoculars.
5) Once upon a nine years ago I had a lucky run of being upgraded to first class. This happened at least six times, for no reason. It was simply delicious, even turbulence has manners in first class.
6) An expectation of discovery. Outward or inward bound.

Six things I dislike about flying:
1) People who insist on tugging themselves up by your headrest.
2) The thought of people starring at me as I waddle down the aisle.
3) Waddling down the aisle I brush strangers cheeks with my hips.
4) Sniffers, cough-ers, snorers, complainers, babies, garlic eaters and leg tappers.
5) People who through security must put everything back on without waiting for their tray to get to the end, thus causing a hold up.
6) When a false nail pops off and I can not find it, wondering if it has gone into my neighbors drink, lap, bag or hair.

Merci de lire, s'il vous plaƮt revenir une autre fois sous peu.

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