Thursday, February 24, 2011

English Language

I told my car not to. It has it's own mind for a reason and still drove, this morning through Dunkin Donuts to collect coffee.
As the man handed over my large coffee milk no sugar, he said:
"Your large Ma'am". Which I naturally heard as "You're large Ma'am."  Great! I have become a training manual joke.
I know air hostesses like to say to passengers they do not like:
"You're trash Sir!"

A few years back, in the day of saying I was an actress and taking on promotional jobs. Brenda and I were hired as 'distribution models' in a shopping mall. The brochures we were handing out included vouchers for a red lipstick and a cup of tea in the store cafe. It was an easy job for the two of us with our shiny hair and sing song attitudes.
About an hour found us bored and playing with voices. I would utter things like vegeatables, cabbage, catamongers. Nobody was listening as they were too busy trying to avoid me thinking I was selling windows and  life insurance.
Brenda played the wild woman and would whisper sexily "May I give you one Sir?" She would only offer the brochure after powerful eye contact had been maintained and her victim's head was boiling like a lobster. (Either head, use your imagination.)

Ahh, the joys of our language.

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