Monday, January 31, 2011

Movie Star Month

Can you believe that the first month of 2011 ends in three hours?
How has it been for you?
Did you continue as well as you begun? Did you surprise yourself with success? Success surprise you?
Or, like me, today you are only just poking your head from beneath the covers, saying - "did the brand new year of my life really begin and I did nothing about it?"

I decided, slowly, that February would be a special month. I am calling it my movie star month. Insert blink, blink, blink of stars and zoom in on the Hollywood sign.

When I was a kid I declared that I would be a movie star by twenty five and live in San Francisco. For those that do not know me, that did not happen.

If it had of happened, February would mean me, hiding away in my beautiful San Francisco home, getting physically and mentally ready for the Oscars month. I would of course have been at every ceremony, and perhaps this year at forty odd years, be receiving a special award. Special award for funniest, prettiest, yet fantastic at drama and talented writer as well as acting award.
Insert blink, blink, blink of Hollywood stars and my simply stunning yet casual head shot.

So as not to disappoint my inner child, I am going to prepare as though I will be attending the Oscars on Sunday February 27th. My aim is to sit and watch the Oscars, looking as good as my friends Cameron, Michelle and Nicole.

This means, I declare in front of all thousand readers (I was never good at math) that I will:
  • Put myself first.
  • Use cleansers on my face every day & night.
  • Apply special treatments to my hair, so that it is washed & looking good every day. (Come on we know whats hiding underneath that up do I attempt every week.)
  • Stop, YES I said STOP - biting my nails!!! I have bitten them so much I have tasted my wrist.
  • Get rest.
  • Complete the edits to a play & mail it out to a theater company by Sunday February 27th.
  • Try some exercise.....yes I said exercise.
  • Lose weight...this said quietly and if you repeat it I will kill you.
  • Cut out sugar....this said reluctantly and quietly....same rule above applies.
  • Stop saying I am Sorry for every single thing that happens.

I am going to live, as I imagined I would back when I was 11, as Jayne the movie star.

Wish me luck, (as I do all those who know me). I will report, with fascination, honesty and handy tips for living the glam life. Insert blink blink blink of Mentally Insane Hospital and mug shot of me looking bloated with panda eyes and a large Twix in hand.

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