Sunday, October 3, 2010

Reality Shows

This has been a long time between posts.
Work went crazy busy. Would have been the best season ever as the TV show, I can tell you that.
Featuring the classic episode called "Camp We Care Not" including a pointless flight to Seattle, missing rocking horses, anxious FedEx trips, secret conversations held at 1am, lots of tears, one resignation letter and of course cake.

It feels that life hit me hard with reality this year and I'm struggling to recover.
My thoughts have been that I would eventually end up at Disneyworld being one of the Fairy Godmothers. Not the young beautiful one. The comical rounder ones with grey hair. Greeting people in Disneyworld has a greater appeal to me than the one I feel I will end up doing at Walmart. I say that with respect for those that have to, rather than those that can finally relax and enjoy retirement.

Being that I followed a dream of becoming an actress and then a writer - I guess for most of my life I have believed in dreams coming true. Suddenly throughout September I felt the opposite.

Nothing is coming true. I do not feel sorry for myself, in fact I am to blame for poor decisions and sheer laziness. It seems pointless. The fact is that you have a great day at Disneyworld, soak up the fireworks, see Tinkerbell fly - then you wait in a traffic jam leaving the car park, tired with a bag of souvenirs that one day you will throw out as garbage.

Maybe I'm sucking lemons and this phase will pass. Maybe I'm facing a mid life episode and an adventure will reignite. Or, maybe I am the woman who got a chair massage yesterday and fainted during it. Maybe I'm the one who does not know how to help another as they face a loss. Maybe I'm the woman with an ineffective heat wrap on her shoulder who has no desire to plan for Monday. Reality hitting hard.