Friday, July 16, 2010

Brand New Thought

I am currently in my office and could be working, yet I find myself thinking about my dream of writing.

Today I feel exhausted, been working hard and not taking care of myself. Mentally and physically I am on the whale side of bloated.

First time ever I am going to publicly say out loud that my husband has early on set Alzheimer's.

Every day I witness him struggle with what I take for granted. My heart breaks a little each day.

I want to reverse that and to say that my heart opens each day to do my best to support him and I on our new journey.

For all of us to take for granted our dreams, talents and joys - is an extravagance. There is so much to embrace. I wonder if I can learn from looking at the opposite of my sadness? So in my tiredness, instead of feeling it as failure, I will look forward to getting an early night tonight. My physical bloating will enjoy release by drinking lots of water and slowing down this week end. My anxious heart will be calmed when I hug my husband again tonight when I allow myself to leave early from work at 5pm today.

I ask you to find peace in your hearts and health - and to wish all those in difficulty some lightness in their boldness. With love - Jayne

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Movie Recommendation

Went to see the movie "A Solitary Man" with Michael Douglas this afternoon.
(I did not go with Michael Douglas, I meant he was in the movie.)

I LOVED it. Well acted, beautifully written, damn honest and gave me an unexpected moment of "NO!" during one particular moment. Not easy for a girl who did guess that Bruce Willis was dead before the ending of "Sixth Sense."

Please see it if you can. These independent movies tend to appear and disappear quicker than a bag of popcorn.

The writing is above so much of what we see on a regular basis.

My current mood is leaving me feeling conflicted and confused. I left that movie theater desperately wanting to write, yet Agnes (inner critic) is as loud as it is hot. I am at the computer, yet I just did two hours work. Work work, not dream work. I wanted to write an indulgent blog in order to get writing. So forgive me. I find if you begin than you can continue.

I tell you something that I did try - remember cherry stones when you were a child and deciding if someone loved you or not? Lets hope its not true because I asked if I would eventually get published or not. Stupid cherries. See if I had done that with bites of a do nut, I bet it would have ended in my favor!!!