Monday, November 8, 2010

Weather Forecast

I am re-writing the myth - Love is NOT all you need.

It is the strong powerful ones who deal with everything successfully and it has nothing to do
with loving. It has to do with survival. Tactics to win. To beat others. Even when the powerful ones are wrong they are right, because they know they are wrong and can get away with it by being louder.

I have not lost much in my life, simply I guess because I have never had anything in the first place!
I have however been free to say the word love. To show when I'm happy. To share when I could. To share when I couldn't. I always thought that was the best way to be. I was wrong.

This is a lecture to all that are younger. If you are single, remain single.
If you are partnered with someone with an addiction - leave them.
If you believe you know what love is, then take a day off from it and then look at it again.

If your partner becomes ill, then distance yourself. Everyone else does. They may say, Oh I'm there. Have a look though - are they? If you are there all the time how does it allow them to give support? They won't even remember or recognize that the person is ill. They will sweep everything under the carpet, including you.

Alzheimer's becomes a battle for the afflicted and a battle for the care partner.
All the care partner wants to do is love. They are the ones who can hear the clock ticking. Doing that and receiving nothing back, continually, begins to feel like cutting your arm off with a hair brush.

Perhaps instead of the constant reassurance that I thought was required, my husband needs someone just to be the aggressive one. To not care so much. To not be there so much.
I now hear - Don't be so sensitive. Be a grown up. Its so easy when you look down from a comfortable chair to read the pamphlet and think you know everything.

So the weather has turned bitter. The winter is here. Protective layers are advised. Love does nothing to keep the cold turning into frost bite.

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