Sunday, September 13, 2009

Thursday's Thoughts Have Far To Go

On Thursday my stars said:

Expect a lot of activity to take place in your home today, Jayne. You could well become caught up in the energy generated, which could put you in touch with a new awareness of your feelings about yourself.

There is alot of activity in the house with paint pots, rollers, brushes and such instruments that turn just a room into a "ooohhh wow that's a beautiful room! Quick call Homes and Gardens!"

The dear cat is confused, frightened and hopeful that his litter box will get a make over. He dashes around interested and scared continually. As indeed, does my mind, as I ponder between new curtains or blinds, new curtains or blinds?

In my stars it mentions an awareness of my feelings about myself. Emmmmm. Not sure I want, yet another new awareness of feelings. Sometimes, I would prefer that I knew little about my true self. Sometimes, I hope that my true, true self is far better than I imagine. That all the National Enquirer stories I have been led to believe about her, are mindless, fabricated gossip. Sometimes, I think, I think too much. Most of the time I feel too much.

When I was a little girl hovering over the edge of becoming a young girl in the double digits, I remember choosing to put all my dolls and soft toys away. I wanted space for books and music. So, in the cupboard they went, placed carefully so as not to squash one another.

That night I cried because I thought they were crying. So sad that now they were placed in the cupboard, behind closed doors. They hadn't done anything wrong, why were they being punished? Morning had not arrived, before I had taken them all out again, whispering them a sorry and providing an extra hug.

The subject matter may have changed, the feelings have not. I have wonderment about many things. Sometimes this is a glorious attribute and at others it is time consuming and draining.

Unlike toys, I cannot place my emotions behind closed doors. They have the power to push them open again by themselves.

My stars ended with:
Expect vivid dreams of travel, strange places, or flying.

Favorite food of the day: One oreo cookie
Favorite song of the day: Wild is the Wind - David Bowie

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