Thursday, September 24, 2009

Monday's Mid Life Crisis

Monday's stars said this:

After the emotional havoc you went through over the last few weeks, the period beginning today will be quite soothing. You can take advantage of these smoother, calmer waters to rediscover inner emotional harmony and improve the balance of your energy flows.

Isn't that nice to hear. Though you would imagine that I am the President of a Multi National Island in crisis with a family of fourteen children to feed. Honestly my life is not that dramatic.
We all have our stories and our issues and we do not wear t shirts declaring them to the world. You never know what the person is going through who just handed you your dry cleaning or phoned and asked if you would take a few moments to do a survey.

It is making me slighter nervous that since my birthday I am receiving emails that say "Remove Excess Hair ", "Is it time for the lift?"and "Brown Bag Makeover". Pretty scary stuff. What is a brown bag make over? I suppose I should have read the email.

I am aware of getting older when a hang over describes my stomach and a pair of jeans.
When the walk of shame means going into a Weight Watchers meeting and when my new hobby is grinding my teeth. Am I one step away from telling the neighbor's kids not to skate board past my front door?

No, I don't actually believe so. I just enjoy the cliched image of it all. I wish, however, I were heading into the cliche of the attractive older woman who has style and grace. Why can't I be Mrs.Robinson but without all the cigarettes and the naughty stuff?

I am aware that I am blossoming (perfect word) into the theatrical auntie type. The one who invites people over for afternoon tea and serves wild raspberry sponge cake that is lopsided and too sweet. The woman who wears alot of purple with large jeweled necklaces and carries around photos of her cat.

I mean look, I already read my horoscope, my fat ankles demand flat shoes and I enjoy a Saturday night of cross stitch embroidery!

When I start wearing hats, I will know I have crossed into the Mad Auntie Jayne zone.

It's too soon for that. I went through a poor patch in my thirties that are known as The White Cardigan Years. They were not to be proud of. Brenda knows what I'm talking about. Now I see myself headed to The Purple Cardigan Years! I feel a rebellion coming on - quick get me to a tattooist, let me cut my hair and buy a pair of jeans with diamond studs all over them. Do leather leggings come in a size twenty?

Favorite Food of the Day: Rolos
Favorite Song of the Day: Viva La Vida by Coldplay

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