Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Blissful Love on Valentines Day

I love Valentines Day, of course I do!
I found this poem in a book of anonymous writings and wanted to share.
Enjoy your day, always turn to love and never take it for granted x

Is the real truth found within that moment
When you think
Could we be? Did we just....
Move slowly, or quickly into blissful intimacy.
Quiet time together
Longing for touch that lingers only
One breath away.

That gaze between lovers
Of years or just moments.
Trust into passion
And jumping back again.
Conversation and wine
Tea and toast.
That tumble of choices and kisses
Of ideas, of words and song.

I am fortunate to have embraced it all
Yet remain desiring for more.
As much as my life is full
With sun and glorious moon,
My heart beats for me and for another
Always to join.

Please bring that reaching hand,
With mind, soul and heart,
That, like mine
Gazes and whispers yes.
Finding the real truth within that moment
When you think, when we think
Could we be? Did we just....

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Like Water Keep Moving

After a work trip away this week, I had a long journey back home which included a matrix of logistics that had my brain needing to think step by step, and, I will admit, my soul was heavy and complicated with new emotions and feelings that deserved attention.

As I drive, I relax and go with the rise and fall of my feelings. I feel the strength and the tears, the empowerment and the loss and I attempt to pay no attention to any of them, I need to just let them flow in and flow out.  Welcome them, see them, then let them go. Like water is in constant movement - I need to do the same. Trusting that what is true and healthy for me, will eventually settle.

The miles and hours pass, the various drop off and collection points happen. Stairs, boxes, petrol, airport, return rental car, call a Lyft driver, blah blah blah. I even notice the emptiness of the moving walkway at the airport and what it conjures for me inside. How my brain lingers on the loneliness and not the moving forward.

I'm finally at my last leg that will get me home and at that point - I am stopped in my tracks. My car has a flat battery and the occurrence of that had nothing to do with me. Not my fault.  An unintentional mistake by somebody else. A flat battery. Just at the point where I said, look at all of that I did carefully and simply, now I get to rest and let go. A dead battery gives me another thing to solve.
I can hear Alanis Morissette singing "Isn't that ironic, don't you think.?"

I had lead a wonderful workshop earlier that day, to set off a year of coaching and leadership to a determined group of people. One of their major concerns is how to keep the momentum going, and as I suggested the only way to do that is to simply make all of this good, healthy thinking a habit. Things can happen with thought, but, action is also required. Yes its hard work, and the brain tells us how challenging it all is - when truthfully we just need to breathe and keep moving. When we have that privilege we need to use it.

So, here's my point. There will be times we feel we have stopped. There will be times that we must slow down, as indeed there are times for the opposite, to rush, giddily forward and leap. All of it is always, absolutely always moving. We can't be afraid of that, actually we could gain hope from that. The classic saying of this too shall pass. And so it always does.

I watch the river flowing
An ocean gushing, swaying, pounding
Or as silk and settled
Even then it stirs.
Is it doing it because of the pull of gravity?
Or through pure magic unseen, unknown?

Like water is in constant movement - we need to do the same.

Happy February everyone & much love.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Inspired by

It is at times easier to sit in bitterness and hold onto regret and anger.
There is a fear in letting go. There is a fear in being an open heart.
What if I love again? What if it is mistreated, again.
What if I'm used, again? What if I'm lied to, again? What if I lose, again?

And what if I don't?
What if someone pays attention, spends time and opens with you? With me.
What if they don't just talk at you, but they take time to ask, to listen, to share?
Will we be brave enough to answer? Will we know what we want to say?

To base a life upon lies, denial, sadness is to limit our true expression and what I believe to be our honest soul.

I admire leaders (known and unknown) who keep stepping forward. It is not moving on,
it is moving toward.To turn all we learn into a positive strength.

As I pay respect to Martin Luther King today - I know I personally still have a dream,
and am fortunate and grateful for everything that supports me.For those of us lucky enough to be in that position, it is our responsibility to achieve all we can, in small and large ways.Who wouldn't want to share that gift?

There is power in silence while looking honestly into someones eyes.
There is power, strength, intelligence and sheer joy in love.
I know my truth and I long to share it. That act in itself is my courageous purpose.
I want that in my life.

I am inspired today by a man who did that. This is my truth, my freedom.

Saturday, December 30, 2017

It's Nearly Here - Happy 2018

Wishing everyone the very best of what they desire, need and deserve in 2018.
May the lessons of this year be worth the joy, the tears and the silence they brought.

For me it was a year I title: in sickness and in health. Through it all I loved.
Loved my family and friends as they faced difficulties, tragedy, happiness and success.
I saw courage, true grit and determination. I heard wise, wise words. I experienced comfort, sadness, loss, happiness, laughter and perfect timing.
Good byes that were said quietly, those that were not said yet felt and hellos that arrived as unexpected surprises and glorious opportunities.
Respect and disrespect. Creative inspiration and passion. Intelligence, ignorance and patience.

I hid a lot. I traveled. I laughed a lot. I wrote, blimey, did I write! I pushed through comfort zones in so many ways, and none of that I did alone. My strength and my vulnerability are because of the true friendships in my life that gave unconditional support throughout AND my divine faith in eternal existence and love.

There is always love. I felt its presence and its lack, and how lucky am I.
Incredibly lucky and grateful to those who are really with me, and you know who you are.

No fear. No holding back. Be honest. Listen and dare to grow, dream, reach.
Its time to take everything we learnt this year and use it to fire us into the New Year.

A wise, bold heart once wrote :
Love is like going to a well, for drinking, for wishing, for nourishing of heart and soul.

I get it and I'm at the well!

For when it arrives - Happy New Year everyone.
And so it goes.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

The Cell Phone

For those of you who know me well, you are aware of my lack of confidence/desire/need/want/ambition/delight in talking on the telephone. A dear friend of mine reveled in the fact of our fourteen year friendship where only today I said sure you can call me.

I am an addicted text reader and sender. A person in awe that one receives emails via a cell phone.  You can even look at Facebook! My cell phone is my confidant, partner in love and crime, a photographer, journalist, event planner, navigator and sometimes a musical delight of connection or a silent zombie of disconnection.

There is a great sense of competition for who is having a deeper relationship with their phone. Who knows every app, icon, button, and how do you actually read text messages while talking? Who can text faster? I'm pretty good, though my admitted failing is in the lack of abbreviation skills and what on earth those little faces mean. Maybe now too, I judge myself and others on how much we look at our phones. When has it become a grand gesture that you are out with someone (perhaps a man) and they are not checking their phone constantly? Big bonus points for that one, like opening a car door, yes sorry but that still gets a swoon from me.

The other day my phone was on vibrate, facing down on the table in another room while I was having personal conversation with a brand new friend. I hear my phone vibrating and I think that sounds just like someone passing gas, and then I go into a complete mind journey of "oh no I hope they don't think that's me." Should I say, listen to my phone making that noise? Then chances are that it doesn't happen and then it appears as though I were blaming something else when really it was me!! It's as though  "that was my phone" has now replaced "that was the dog." Wow, I must have thought about that situation in a sudden downward spiral for at least ten minutes. Such is my comical mind at times.

Lastly, and importantly, yesterday I was driving while reading a text. I looked up and right in front of me, side ways, was a bright yellow school bus, turning into the road on the right. It didn't even look real. I slammed on my brakes. It was like one of those carnival rides you used to take on rickety rails in the dark, that suddenly showed large signs of not this way.
All was OK, and it was five minutes later that I could accept how scary that actually was and how close I was. It was completely my fault.

Now the actual text message was fantastic, however, I think I was one moment from making such a mess, that I may not have ever been able to reply.
 SO -  I always like to try and add an inspiration or new thought to these blog posts and I believe this message is loud and clear. I know many of my dearest friends are like me, and say - yes but I'm really careful. Well, let's be really careful.
I am not that important that a text or email cannot wait AND I AM THAT IMPORTANT that it can wait.

Perhaps John Lennon would say:

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. 
Or when you're checking your cell phone.
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.

Sending my love for this holiday season. May we all find joy & peace in our hearts.
Jayne xxx

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Hallmark Movie Heroine for Hire

- unless they run a competition to write an original script and I win based on my delightful humor and effervescent hope.

Here are five reasons why:

1) The Hair - I have good hair, but I do not have Hallmark hair. They manage to get a fantastic up do with falling tendrils that hang just the right way. With limited time to prepare, (unless they've had the best friend preparation time where they try on many outfits laughing until they declare "yes that's the one"; they glide in wearing a beautiful red or gold dress that fits (and wow does it fit) and the man gasps "you look beautiful."

2) The Bakery - despite every heroine being a size zero they can cook and will visit or run a bakery and or enter a cookie competition. Always. Oh, and they always drink tons of coffee, hot chocolate or tea and I mean tons of it, either in gorgeous looking mugs or take away cups.

3) The Ice Skating - they love to ice skate, or if they can't they laugh all the way through the agony of falling over without the fear of having fingers cut off as another skaters blade runs over your hand. Oh AND clinging on for dear life to the man is acceptable, as he never screams "will you just let go for Gods sake."

4) The Snow - everyone loves it and nobody complains about it and everyone can drive in it and most spin around and laugh in it. They also have the proper coat that can actually do up and the perfect scarf to match. The snow is also always white and never slushy grey.

5) Their need to hide from Love and or Christmas - they always begin this way, determined in their new job, life, town, travels, hotel, perfect cabin with log fire - that they will remain oblivious to love - cue the entrance of the dashing handsome man in plaid shirt, who also has the same negative notion - unless he is Santa's secret son of course.

I do not fall into reason number five because despite everything, absolutely everything, I still am in love with Love and Christmas. Every year I still experience the excitement and get inspired with the possibility of magic. I smile with hope as I decorate my tree and, now secretly wish that someone would like to share it with me. My heart broke open in 2012 and has been trampled on this year by two trusted people who I thought knew better. Yet, still it remains full of love and hope, and so it should, because that's me.

So I'm ready to be the Hallmark heroine, this version, my version.  The one who wants us all to be honest, thoughtful and kind. The one who is brave and will always show up. The one who simply loves.

Please have a happy thanksgiving - and take care of your friends, family and pets. We have much to learn and not enough time - so don't waste it.

Much love
Jayne x

Monday, September 25, 2017

The Algebra of a Pineapple

I have just returned from a course to study something new. Those who know me, know that I am very much a feelings person first. If your calculator is not working correctly - you know I am the person to empathize with you and throw it across the room for you, however I am not the person who will logically work out the math problem for you.

This course was all about logic, and I saw at least four times, things that reminded me of algebra at school. Interestingly enough, I had the same reaction as the twelve year old did - that of complete horror followed by the frustrated concern of why on earth do adults have to over complicate everything?
If you have a pineapple, it is a pineapple, you should not add a smaller letter underneath it and still call it a pineapple, while acknowledging that now it is a lemon.

There were great elements of this course where I sat in the lost zone. I understood the theory but not the why. I was the person in the room still saying "what?' as four more pages had been turned, another solution solved and a deeper layer revealed. I felt like I was in a maze, blindfolded, with ear plugs, on a stormy day, with mirrors, and tricks and someone watching and laughing at me.

The serious point of this post is to highlight the truth that crossed into my mind, as I recognized where a person diagnosed with Alzheimer's or dementia will travel.
The uncertainty, the stress over struggling to connect everything, to connect anything. The bewilderment as people around confidently talk in what appears to be a foreign language. You know you knew it and now you don't. The astonishment of loss - where one second it makes sense and the very next, you have no idea.

My emotional connection ability is extremely insightful and I could see where I was blocking myself.
I could slow down my thoughts, silence other peoples voices and energies in order to focus and locate the breakthroughs where sense could and would eventually arrive. Can you imagine not being able to do that? To be stuck in the middle of that? To be swept up within this tornado effect on the brain, which occurs suddenly and powerfully.

My heart, as it often does, surged as I perhaps tapped into that fear and to be honest, sheer panic.
I left the room twice to have a private cry, as I felt I could finally understand a little of the anxiety my husband felt as his illness grew.

As care partners, we can become very busy and noisy in what we think is assistance. When actually it isn't. When speaking with anyone struggling with cognitive issues, please stop over thinking and over doing. You need to create space and a simpler energy - not so that the person will catch up, because sadly, they wont be able to all of the time, but to present a calmer environment where their spinning of thoughts may slow. Where they can feel accepted and wanted. A place where we can provide peace where their uneasiness is growing.

You have to wonder whether, we could, should, would be doing this anyway, as life throws us on twisting paths.

The course taught me a number of new ideas and thoughts, and professionally is another skill level I will use. The biggest thing it taught me is that I have a desire, and perhaps even an obligation to do something to assist care partners as they attempt to do the very best for their loved ones. So, lets see where that leads.

If I went through everything, it has to be worth something. I want my experience to matter.
Thank you for reading.
Always with love.